Listening To God's Whispers

Do you see what I see here?  You may see a field of grass, but I see perfection.  I see beauty, serenity, happiness, and peace.  I took that picture.  I took this one too.

Yes, I was on that four-wheeler.  The ranch I was on was so big that it would have taken all day to walk anywhere.  The only thing that would have been better is if we had been on horseback.
     You see, I used to work for the USDA as a Rangeland Management Specialist - aka a Ranger.  My degree is in Rangeland Management, which basically means studying grasses and ecosystems and grazing lands.  Really what it means is that you get to be outside all day in the fresh air surrounded by grass and cattle and sometimes horses or wildlife just so you can study the grass species in that area and plan a good grazing system or wildlife plan or some other way to best utilize that particular piece of rangeland.  Sometimes we even planned and performed controlled burns, which was really cool.  Every minute that I spent outdoors I loved.  I took these pictures because I was so overwhelmed by the beauty of this particular monoculture of Big Bluestem (grass).  This is the kind of picture that God paints - this is what God gives us as a break from this imperfect world.  These places, the ones that are so quiet that you can almost hear the angels singing, are little doorways out of the painful world.  These places are the places you go to give your Guardian Angel a break so that he can sit down next to you and see nature - every last blade of grass, every tree, every flower, every bug, stream, cloud, particle of soil - giving God glory in its own way.  It is breathtaking - God is smiling when He sends us to these places.  Can you tell that I loved it?
     For me, Heaven would be on a horse in a pasture such as the one above - forever.  Almost.  You see, even when I was there loving every minute of it, something was missing.  I was a single mother at the time (after an Annulment), and I had to leave my children in order to work this job.  I didn't plan things this way, but life has a way of making plans for you sometimes.  I had to support us, and this was the expertise that I had.  I missed my children every minute that I was away from them, and I felt guilty the whole time.  As much as I loved what I was doing, I did not have peace doing it - the cost was just way too much.  So, this small town girl, who went to college in the middle of the desert so she could have her horse with her and be away from the big universities, packed up and moved to the city.  A big city - by far the biggest she had ever lived in.  I took a job teaching at a small Catholic school.  Why did I do it?

For this face.

And for this one.
     I took a teaching job so that I could be near my children all day.  And you know what?  I was happy! I was so happy to be with them.  I was so full of peace that I was doing what God was calling me to do.  He sent me wonderful friends, a great place to live, and miracle after miracle after miracle.  It was amazing.
     And then, God sent another miracle - this one was a doozy:

God sent me this face.
     Who knows if we would have ended up here if I hadn't listened to God calling me away from what I knew and loved.  If God hadn't challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone, who knows what would have happened.  Look at what we would have missed out on!  Oh, and now, miracle of miracles, we have.....

This beautiful little face.
     This just shows me that as much as we may think we have life figured out, we really don't.  I can tell you that if you had asked me fifteen years ago where I would be fifteen years from then, this is the last place I would have said.  Look how blind I was.  Boy am I glad that God really is the One in control.  He doesn't force you to do anything, and He usually whispers when He calls.  But you know He is calling because inside you don't feel right - you know that a change needs to be made.  You long for something else, something more, and you don't know what it is.  Then He shows you the way - He opens doors and gently, oh so gently, nudges you along.  Sometimes it is scary -  God allows this so that you can prove to Him and to yourself that you are placing your full trust in Him.  But through it all you have peace - joyous, wonderful, filling, overwhelming peace.  And yes, you can feel God smiling.
     So now I am a stay at home mother.  My hero and husband makes that possible.  Do I miss my old job?  Yes.  When I am in the middle of the city surrounded by noise and chaos and people and concrete, yes I miss the nature and the beauty.  Do I regret leaving?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Even though I am surrounded by the chaos of the city, I have peace inside and my loves close by in our little home full of love.  And I have my best friend and the love of my life.

And the other love of my life.

And the other loves of my life.

I have the greatest masterpiece God gave me....

 Our family!
      So what would Heaven be for me?  Well, it would probably be set in fields like the ones in the pictures, and yes, it would be on a horse.  :-)  More importantly, though, I would be surrounded by all of my family. I would be so happy that we were all there together, in the presence of God, that I would forget all about the nature and wonder if we had ever even left our home!